Time thief, p.27
Time Thief, page 27
“Max.” Beast stood in the doorway. “The chief is ready for you.”
I held my breath for most of the short walk to the center of the village. I no longer recognized this place I had once loved, not with the homes burned and the ground blackened. It would take so much work to rebuild.
I met with the chief in a home that had not been razed and sat down on the ground before her. From her guarded expression, I could not guess at her thoughts.
“You have carried secrets far beyond my imagination,” she said.
Shame choked my throat. I nodded.
“I wish you’d trusted us enough to tell us. Though, I understand your fear for our safety, since this god threatened the safety of anyone who you told the truth to. In the end, it was your power that freed our people. You did what no one else could.”
My head lowered naturally, because I could not take praise when I had not accessed my power sooner. “I should have killed the Prophet long ago before he destroyed our homes and stole our people.”
“I understand why you weren’t honest and why you couldn’t defeat him until now. It has challenged me to see that some without power are not hungry for it like the Prophets or wicked like many demons we have encountered. You only want to protect us. So, you remain one of us, and you are free of any guilt or blame.”
My eyes closed tightly to cover the dampness spreading there. The chief could have banished me for simply having power, and certainly for deceiving them.
“We knew when you came to us that you had secrets. We accepted your silence and we cannot blame you for what we willingly participated in. I know that wherever your battle leads you, you will fight for us.”
“Always.” I opened my eyes. “I’m sorry I didn’t kill the Prophet that day. I couldn’t risk the child getting hurt.”
“I understand. It’s better this way. Once you kill the Prophet, there will be chaos. We need time to recover and prepare for the coming war.”
“I want to kill him now.” My voice deepened. “Piercey and his graduates voted no, but I am not bound to them. I could go to him now and finish what I started.”
“Then what?” The chief tilted her head. “You’ll have to kill the disciples. What about the one who takes their place?”
“I’ll kill anyone who threatens this Valley and my people.”
“When will you have time to train and become strong enough to ensure the gods never take control of our world again?” The chief leaned forward. “You’re young and impatient. You’re used to charging into battles. I plan for wars. The Prophet is weak and humiliated right now. This is the perfect time for us to gain strength rather than replace him with someone strong.”
Was I really hearing this? Not only did Piercey want me to wait, but so did the chief? “What if he hurts people while we wait?”
“You won’t let him do that. Will you?”
My hands trembled. “How can you say this? He would have killed all of the children in this village.”
“Just like the Flatlander Prophet who will take his place if our Prophet falls. Use him, Max. Be smart. When you can kill your enemy at any time, you do not need to rush. I believe that you can stay stronger than he can. Right now, you told us you have preparation to do. So train.”
I lowered my head, the tears that had threatened to fall before were now those of anger. No matter what anyone said, I could do it. I could defy them all to kill the Prophet. Nash would support me. There would be at least one person on my side.
“Max,” the chief said. “You’re powerful enough now to do what you want. You could take the village from me.”
“I would never do that.”
“You could. Think with your mind and not just your might.” She rose, moved beside me, and knelt. “A few days will not hurt. Give yourself time to think. We’ll speak again soon. Give us time to prepare. We’re not ready for a war, even if you are.” The chief clasped the back of my neck, looking at me with a warrior’s eyes. “A commander and chief must know what her people need. Do not lower yourself to mere warrior or demon. Learn to lead. All of Skia Hellig will soon look to you to guide us and protect us. Are you ready to do that today?”
“Just because I’m strong doesn’t mean I can lead the whole peninsula.”
“It does and you can. Return to the Sacred School and become who we need you to be. You’re not ready yet.”
I dipped my head, unable to speak. Finally, I managed a “Yes, Chief.”
After returning to the Sacred School, I dedicated myself even further to training myself, not just to hone my power, but to learn how to lead Skia Hellig. Two months had passed since we arrived here at the Sacred School and vengeance still pumped through my veins every day. I learned patience I hadn’t thought possible.
On a day when I’d tirelessly trained on controlling my time slips, I finally quit for the night to be with Nash. I spent the last hour of daylight with him and Elsie, before he tucked her into her bed in Trish’s suite while I waited in his. Traveling had exhausted me, especially since I had to face my people. Chief Kaid’s acceptance of me stood, and no one would dare defy her, but I hadn’t been honest. That wouldn’t just disappear. Besides, even if people pretended to be okay with the fact that I was a demon, not everyone would be. Should I ever make it back home permanently, it would take time to rebuild trust.
When Nash walked into his room where I waited, I moaned about the long day I had, but he raised a brow at the bag I’d left on the foot of the bed.
“Hm.” He crawled onto the bed over me. “I thought you desperately needed to keep your bag in that lonely room of yours.”
My breath caught as he lowered over me. “It’s only here for the night.”
“And you?”
“For the night.”
He pushed off of me and flopped onto his back. When I rolled over, he pushed me back with his hand. “No. You stay on your side. You have your own room, your own side of the bed, your own sad little bag.”
“I’m not allowed to be near you because I won’t move in? You think your tricks will work eventually but they won’t.”
“It’s a mistake to challenge me. I’m going to prove you wrong now.”
I groaned. “You know not to start a competition with me. Last time, we broke the bench Piercey made. He was so upset.”
“And I won that sparring match.”
“I won. Nash. Don’t antagonize me.” I reached for him, but he pushed away again. “This isn’t even funny. It’s our day. Elsie is with Trish.”
He folded his arms beneath his head, gazing at me exactly how he knew would make my heart melt.
We’d grown so close. It hit me then, clearly, as he teased me. The smile fell from my face. I couldn’t hold myself back from him, and yet still I tried, even now that I knew better. So with Nash looking into my eyes, I didn’t want to hold back anymore, even if I thought I should.
“I have to tell you something.”
He rolled onto his side, the joking, the annoyance beneath the joking, gone just like that. “What’s wrong?”
My mouth refused to form the words. He’d be so angry with me. I owed him the truth, though, so I finally forced myself to speak. “Piercey is helping me learn to control my slips. I’m going to travel on purpose and relive my death until I learn how to escape our world to go beyond to the gods.”
Nash’s breathing froze. He stared. Silent.
“It’s our only hope. Dr. Henderson has already reset our world twice. She’s helping Prophets conquer our land. As long as she’s in control, we die over and over without end. What will she do next? I have to stop her. And I didn’t tell you because I’m a coward. I couldn’t stand to hurt you.”
Nash blinked, looked down, and then sat up, back turned to me as he slid his legs off the bed. He sat that way for torturous minutes until his hands gripped the sheets in fists and the muscles in his arms tightened. Nash glanced over his shoulder and the pain in his eyes sucker punched me. “You just didn’t want me to get in your way.”
“That’s not it.”
I tried to explain, but he rose to his feet and raised his voice over mine. “It’s insane to torture yourself like this. You’re doing it to punish yourself.”
“I’m not, Nash. I really believe this will help me reach beyond Dr. Henderson.”
“It’s dangerous. Do you care about your life?”
We both yelled over each other, neither of us listening, neither of us able to stop as we spoke in circles at one another. Until finally, Nash sat back on the bed and hurt filled in the spaces anger had burned into minutes before.
“I don’t want you to hide things from me like I’m a child,” Nash said. “Even if you know I’ll fight you, show me the respect of being honest.”
“I said I was sorry.” I scratched the back of my neck. “This is my decision, though.”
“What if it were me? You would stop at nothing to keep me from doing it.”
“And you would do it anyway.”
We wouldn’t agree. The more we talked, the clearer it was, until I curled up on my side, stomach tied in knots.
Nash settled beside me and twined his fingers with mine. We lay in tense silence, close, angry, together.
The chief had told me to prepare myself but I still was acting like a frightened girl. I rose, grabbed my bag, and dropped it in his closet. He watched me quietly.
I crawled back in bed beside him, heart pounding. “My bag can stay from now on.”
He drew his arm around me. “You never leave your weapons behind.”
A smile tempted me. “Never.”
“I’m still mad,” he said.
“Me, too.”
Nash smirked, but it faded as he eyed me, until he whispered in a husky voice. “I love you, Max.” His mouth was on mine before I could respond.
I whispered the words between his kisses. “I love you, too.”
I took the happiness, not minding the hurt and anger that twisted in with it, and for once, I didn’t push any of it away. It was just us, together, like one soul in two bodies that had been born and reborn, tangled together, in a thread between worlds.
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
Where my power had once been a drip I could scarcely control, it had evolved into a waterfall that I could shut off at will. The only problem with a waterfall was how difficult it was to control once it plunged into a river. When even a ripple could hurt the people around me, I feared the power of riptides and raging eddies could destroy my world.
After gaining control of my teleportation powers, I focused on my manipulation of time. I still needed to figure out how to break into the afterlife and keep my memories, but to do any of that, I needed to learn to travel to the moment where I would die beneath the eclipse. That moment held valuable data. While Piercey focused on academic pursuits and supporting me, I plunged into the experience of trying to travel not through the space around me, but through time. There had been progress, but not enough.
I steadied my breathing as I focused on times throughout my life that I felt connected to. I’d learned I couldn’t travel to any point I wanted, at least not yet. But there were so many moments in my life that felt timeless, like they had dug so deeply into the fabric of existence that even time couldn’t force me to let go, that I had never left. I had stayed in the eclipse for my entire life. Had never left my father on those long days of training. Never for a moment had let go of Nash’s hand as he fell down the cliff in the landslide.
All this time that I’d nearly killed myself trying to hold back the waterfall of my power, I’d forced it to explode out of hairline fissures. I’d been wrong. Wrong for a very long time. I had to embrace my power and tame it and make it truly mine.
So as I sat in the grass beneath the towering tree where Piercey and I had long ago sat and talked, I thought of the points in my life I would like to travel to. Because why practice with the bad when I could drift off to the good?
That was the greatest power I had learned. To live in my joy rather than be trapped in my suffering. My mind was mine, as was my power.
Not that I never struggled with anxiety. But I would enjoy every moment of freedom, because it would be a shame to reject happiness out of fear that one day I might lose it.
“When will you travel to today?” Piercey asked.
“Probably the day when we were kids and I finally beat you at that puzzle game we liked.”
A smile tugged my lips as I thought of memories I wanted to relive. I didn’t slip as much as I drifted into the warmth of days I wanted to never end.
It would be harder to travel to the day I’d spent my life avoiding.
“You’re sure about this?” Piercey knew the answer. I thought what he really wanted to know was whether he could stop me.
I breathed in deeply and smoothed my hands over the plush pillow beneath me. Piercey had surrounded me with pillows and blankets in the dim training room to make me more comfortable.
“It’s time,” I said.
“No one should have to do this.”
I smiled sadly. “People have always done things they shouldn’t have to do. I need you to be strong for me. If I try to quit, push me to keep going.” He shook his head but I made my voice stern. “That is the least you can do for me. I’m the one who will be dying.”
Shame flooded his eyes. He lowered his head.
I didn’t soften my voice even though I wanted to. “You will not let me quit, Piercey.”
He nodded, though he said nothing.
It had taken me weeks to reach this point, but once I began traveling at will, it all came to me quickly. There was nothing left to wait for. It wouldn’t get easier. I just had to do it. Besides, Flare could take back control at any time. I had to be ready.
So I clenched my eyes shut and thrust myself toward the death that I had always run from.
Slipping to my good moments felt like floating atop a peaceful pool of water. This was different. I tore my way through my own resistance in burning fire that felt as if it melted the flesh from my bones and bored its heat into my marrow. Pain dug its claws into me and tried all it could to stop me.
I pushed through until I found myself trapped by thick ropes.
The pain consumed me. My head fell and I opened my eyes to my bound ankles. To strands of blood rushing down my legs. I would die here.
A crowd spilled out over every inch of the courtyard before me. Their screams tore into my mind. “Kill! Kill! Kill!” The voices swirled about me. Growing.
Stepping back, the Prophet raised up his bloodied spear against the dark sky. Black dripped from its tip.
“Oh gods, bleed this demon dry of the innocent.”
His spear plunged into my gut.
I jerked off the pillow, my eyes bulging, the pain still clinging to my body.
Piercey knelt beside me and grabbed my arms. “You’re safe. You’re here.”
“I …” I lowered my head, hating how I trembled. “I didn’t mean to come back.”
“Give yourself some time.”
“No.” I growled and shoved Piercey away. Stumbling to my feet, I kicked the pillows and blankets away and cleared an empty space of tile. “Soft won’t help me. I have to do this.”
“That doesn’t make sense. Sit for a minute. Cool off and try again.”
I narrowed my eyes and blocked out Piercey’s voice as I plunged headlong through the agony of traveling to that day. I didn’t care about how my soul reached for my body beside Piercey. I didn’t care about what it would do to me. I didn’t care that I’d slipped away while standing and would probably smack my head on the tile.
Rage was the only thing that would fuel me through these slips.
Rage against the Prophet who’d killed me so many times.
Against Henderson for engineering my death.
Against me for failing to face the inevitable.
Every time I tore my way to my death, my spirit threw me back to Piercey, until I was shaking on the ground, my nose and mouth bloodied. I didn’t even know what from. My head pounded. My body was on fire. Piercey tried to stop me, tried to hold back my power with his own, but this was war. And war was one thing I knew.
It would hurt. That didn’t matter.
In broken and shattered bits of memory of what would one day come, I witnessed my death and plunged myself into it once more. And then again. Again. Again. Again, until I awoke to my nails bloodied from clawing into the grooves of the tile. Again, until Piercey was screaming my name.
Again.
The Prophet’s spear tore away bits of my life.
The crowd’s chanting beat like a drum that throbbed in my temples.
Blood rushed from me in a river of sheer agony.
Like a star collapsing in on itself and exploding without control, death opened me up to the world, unleashing everything they’d put inside me.
Again.
Blood snaked down my legs.
Again.
“Kill the demon! Kill her!”
The Prophet’s inky eyes drilled into my own.
Again.
Death opened me up to the world. Death, death, death. A single moment I couldn’t quite grasp. A fleeting moment. A moment I needed to catch.
Again.
Flare tilted her head, the smoldering of her eyes bright against the all-white room. “You knew this would happen. Why did you never stop? The Prophet is waiting. The eclipse is waiting.” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “The afterlife is not. I can’t release you. You may not believe me, but I am sorry. I’ve never been sorrier for anything.”
Again.
So many times, I lost count. Might have lost my mind. No, definitely did, at least for a little while. My consciousness waned on the tiled floor as Piercey’s healing power flowed through me. It couldn’t stop the pain of the future that still clung to me.
