Time thief, p.25
Time Thief, page 25
The full moon darkened the sky now, cutting into the edge of the sun. Even though it looked like I really would survive it, I couldn’t shake the dread. I waited for the gods to take back control of the world and for Flare to appear. I waited to blink and open my eyes to the inky black eyes of the Prophet. Waited to slip away from everyone and everything I loved.
Would I even dream in an eternal slumber?
I shivered.
“Let’s take a break up ahead at that clearing,” Nash said.
We pulled to a stop in a meadow marbled with the yellows and lavenders, the purest whites and deepest reds of the wildflowers. I hopped down from the horse and helped Elsie onto the ground.
“Look at all this room for running,” I said.
Elsie squealed and sprinted into grass and flowers that swelled up to her shoulders. Nash grabbed my hand, standing close so he could hide it behind us.
“You’re safe,” he said quietly to me.
I gazed up at him as the breeze twisted his curls. “You were right. I’ll always fear the eclipse.”
“Just like you fear yourself.”
Not only did death haunt me, but the threat that Dr. Henderson may never release me from it. Even if I survived the eclipse today, I had no reason to think anything good waited for me in my future. I’d made an enemy of a god. Nash would suffer for that if I let myself love him. So would Elsie. So would all of the people I called my own.
Still, I couldn’t let go of him. I’d written it into the stone of fate just as when I observed my death. We’d always been together. If I did not fall during this eclipse, then it was still coming, because fate had refused to release me before my proper time.
There was no point in hoping to escape fate. If I couldn’t die because I was going to die in the future, then I was destined to die beneath the eclipse, even if I lived through today.
Nash’s hold on my hand tightened. He must have felt the sorrow gripping me. Selfishly, I couldn’t bring myself to truly want to change a thing. My memory of our night together was so strong that I could still feel his arms around me when we drifted to sleep on the forest floor. The tension threatened to make my spine snap.
Elsie spun through a batch of dandelions, releasing a cloud of fuzzy petals that floated and spun and drifted down all around her.
“I don’t know what to do with Flare.” I worked my jaw.
“What if we could imprison her?”
“She could probably find a way back to her world, even if it meant dying.”
“We have more power over her when she’s here than we do when she’s with the gods. Whatever we do, she needs to live as Flare in this world for as long as possible.”
“True.” The light had dimmed considerably while we spoke. The moon was halfway over the sun now. My stomach twisted. “We need to let her keep playing her game. Only we have to stay a step ahead of her until we can figure out how to beat her once and for all.”
Nash nodded. “What do you think she plans to do?”
“She’ll try to take control back from us while she’s living in the world as Flare. But she’ll play her politics, too. I’m sure she’s already planning on how to kill me and how to create the nations she so desperately wants.”
Nash watched Elsie as she played. “I want to give her a better life than this.”
“We will.” I met his eyes. “I promise. We will still kill Flare and the Prophet when the right time comes.”
His gaze drifted down my face. “I won’t let Flare kill you today, during another eclipse, or any other time.”
He couldn’t save me, though I wouldn’t say it to him. Instead, I turned my eyes back to Elsie. “I have some ideas that I can’t quite form. Things stirring in my mind. I need to talk to Piercey.”
“Should we ride ahead after him?”
“No. We have a little bit of time. This world won’t be easy for Flare to live in without her god powers.” I made myself smile. “Let’s forget about everything except for today.” I wasn’t sure I knew how to do that, and even though it wasn’t fair to draw Nash close when I knew I’d die, I wanted it more than I’d ever wanted anything.
He kissed my temple while Elsie’s back was turned. My arms craved him. One day with him was never going to be enough. We needed more of what we’d glimpsed.
The birds quieted as the meadow steadily darkened. Elsie sprinted back to us, hugged her dad around his legs, and looked up.
“Don’t look at the eclipse,” I said.
“Is it bad luck?” she asked.
“It will hurt your eyes, even though it doesn’t look bright.”
“Max is smart, Daddy.”
He smiled. “Yes, she is.”
Our conversation quieted as the day gave way to twilight. As the moon swallowed the sun whole and a thin ring of light shined from its edges.
“Look, Daddy!” Elsie reached her little hands up toward the black sun.
I shook off my father’s own voice. Nash squeezed my hand between us, grounding me here.
Sweat beaded on the back of my neck.
“Wow!” Elsie hopped up and down in front of us. “It’s dark out, Daddy! Like the winter!”
“Don’t slip,” Nash whispered. “Let yourself feel it, so you can stay in your body.”
Villagers dotted the field. I blinked and they vanished. What if I slipped and took Elsie and Nash with me? I stepped back but Nash drew me back to his side, holding tight.
“Stay with us, here and now,” he said.
I looked down at the ground, expecting to see my bound ankles, the strands of blood rushing down my legs. Or the little red books. But I only saw verdant green grass and dandelions and Nash’s hand in mine.
All that I’d tried to bury too deep to unearth rose up to my surface—the people I’d killed, the power I feared, the pieces I’d broken my father into. No longer did I hold back the sorrow or turn from the memories, instead allowing the screams that had begun the day my father died to flow through me and settle into a moaning deep inside my bones. It hurt less to feel it than to hold it back. I was ready now to stop trying to escape, because ironically, avoiding it only trapped me in the inescapable loop.
I breathed out slowly and settled against Nash’s arm. Years of tension unwound from my muscles.
Brightness pierced the edge of the moon and slowly the sun began to emerge.
“Do you feel it?” My father’s voice whispered in my ear.
I did. I felt the power stirring inside of me—power that I’d squashed down and hidden from. Power that I held firmly in my hands now. The power to hold myself in place.
Elsie ran forward and clapped her hands. Nash drew my face to his while she wasn’t looking and kissed me, his lips soft and warm and mine, at least for this moment.
The eclipse had swallowed my heart up with the sun. “I’ll stay,” I said. “With you.”
“I know.”
I wanted so badly to kiss him again, but Elsie was skipping back to us. So I settled for grazing his forearm and ran forward to chase his daughter through the meadow until she laughed so hard she couldn’t breathe.
The sun shone down over us, free of the eclipse. The sun shone down over a world that was free and ours, at least for this moment.
CHAPTER THIRTY
The Valley looked so small below us as we stood before the Sacred School. Elsie had been enthralled with the trip up the mountain elevator. But she kept poking at the snow with her foot and a twisted expression.
“It’s cold up here,” she said. “Look at all the snow.”
“I know, baby.” Nash lifted her up. “It’ll be warm at home when we return.”
“When?”
“When it’s safe. Until then, we’ll be together every day.”
“And Mommy?”
“Mommy, too, when she gets here.”
“It’s warm inside.” Piercey smiled at Elsie. “Like spring. Want to go in?”
Elsie’s eyes brightened. “Really?”
Nash patted her head and then waved at the Valley. “Say bye for now.”
“Bye for now!” Elsie waved excitedly. “See you later!”
We chuckled as we turned and entered the school.
Piercey guided us to a hall that used to lead to the training rooms, which had been converted into personal suites with light yellow walls.
“I let everyone know we would have guests,” Piercey said. “You’ll have privacy here. If you need anything, Max can teach you how to use the phone. It’ll connect directly with me. Our graduates and their families often stay here, so it should be comfortable.”
“Phone?” Nash patted Elsie’s back.
“I’ll show you.” I smiled.
Interesting that Piercey had connected a phone system to his neural link, so people without power could tap in. What else had he invented?
“Here.” Piercey opened a door to a small living room with two bedrooms at the far end of the room. “The little room is set up for you, Elsie.”
“For me?” She wiggled in her father’s arms. “I want to see!”
“Say thank you,” Nash said.
“Thank you, mister.”
Nash lowered her to the ground and she peeled out in a run as soon as her feet hit the floor. He followed after her, leaving me with Piercey.
“Your generosity—” I squeezed my hands in front of me.
“Don’t act like it’s a favor. We’re all fighting this battle together.”
“Thank you anyway.”
He shrugged. “No problem.” His voice lowered. “Before you try to convince me that you should return to the Valley, you need to stay.”
“I can’t abandon everyone to whatever the Prophets and Flare will do. The Prophet of the Valley has been humiliated. He’ll be ruthless.”
“You’re not alone in this, Max. Let’s do this the right way. My graduates are already on their way. We can meet, talk, vote. Join us.”
I didn’t like the limitations that would impose. I wanted to be free to fight however I needed to. “I’ll talk with you, but I’m making decisions for myself.”
“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
I snorted. “Yes, you would. You want order and justice. I do, too. It’s for the best. But Dr. Henderson won’t play by any rules.”
“Just promise you won’t leave without talking to me.”
“I promise, Piercey … It doesn’t feel right. My people are free now, but they aren’t safe.”
“Does leaving Elsie feel right?”
I shook my head. “No. Nothing feels right.”
“Let me work my connections, okay? I’m sending people to protect your village. Everyone will be safe for now. It takes time to plan a war. Our enemies are doing what we are. Preparing.”
“I suppose I can train while I’m here. Nash can work on battle plans.”
Piercey clasped my shoulder. “There you go.” He backed up to the door. “I have work to do before the others get here. Call if you need me.”
I walked past the sofa and coffee table in the living room to Elsie’s room. She knelt on a little bed by the window, gripping an armful of dolls. The bag with her clothes and belongings that we’d gathered had been thrown on the floor beside a small nightstand.
Nash sat on the edge of the bed.
“I’ve never had a room for Elsie.” He chuckled and then looked up at me. “Strange, isn’t it?”
My heart must have crumbled inside of me. Because of having to spy and battle for the Prophet, he’d never been able to really live with her, had he? That would change.
I left them to settle in while I explored the wing. There were three more suites identical to this one and four with only a single bedroom. It would give plenty of room for everyone to stay.
The closest one-bedroom suite was two doors down from Nash. So I picked up my bag of weapons and carried them to the door when I heard him.
“Are you lost?”
I paused and turned to him.
“You’re going the wrong way.” He pulled the bag from me and backed up toward his suite with a smile hugging his lips.
“I can’t stay with you,” I whispered.
“Why not? We need your protection. Who will look after us if we’re all the way down here?”
I eyed his swords and then pursed my lips. “Because you’re totally helpless without me.”
He caught my hand and tugged. “We don’t have power like you do.”
“You’re very safe here.”
“You’ll hurt my feelings if you don’t come.”
“You have a four-year-old, in case you forgot.”
“Totally slipped my mind.”
I jerked my bag back from him. “We could be here for a while. I’m not going to live with you.”
“I don’t see the reasoning behind it, but fine. It’s your life.”
“I’ve known you for two weeks.”
“And multiple lifetimes.”
“It’s totally inappropriate for Elsie. It could confuse her.”
“What’s confusing about our own personal bodyguard?” He flashed that smile of his. Wasn’t even fair, the weapons he used against me. “She’s four. She’ll believe anything.”
“Nash. You can’t be serious.”
He hadn’t lost the playful look. “Take your own room if you must, but don’t tell me you’re going to leave me all alone in a strange place. Stay the night at least.”
I chuckled and lowered my head. “You’re impossible. I’m going to my room. Alone. Get back to your kid.”
He was looking at me, really looking, the longing I felt reflected in his eyes. His voice was quiet now. Instead of returning to his room, he walked close to me, lifted my chin, and looked into my eyes, so close to me that I couldn’t draw in a breath. “I’ll stop teasing you. Rest and settle in. Just don’t run from me when you get scared. I’m right here.”
My chest tightened.
He left me with that, walked back to his room, and gave me another look before he disappeared behind the door.
I fell against the wall and groaned. He made it hard to think with his ridiculous ideas like basically moving in with him and his daughter. Now was the time for me to plan.
Although, perhaps, it should have been time for me to live.
“Again,” Nash said.
“It doesn’t matter how many times I do it.” I swung my sword with both hands and groaned. “I never break your defense head-on.”
“You can’t be good at everything instantly.”
I tilted my head back and breathed out slowly. “Fine. Let’s start over.”
Nash glanced over at Elsie where she played in the courtyard grass. The temperature-controlled zone had given her the closest thing to home she could get while outside. “Okay.”
When I’d imagined getting to know Nash better, I had thought it would be alone. Somehow I felt that I could never have glimpsed the true him without his daughter here. Sure, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want some child-free time with him. We’d had some time together while Elsie slept, but I’d quickly learned that I needed to sleep when she did. She was more exhausting than full days of training.
Still, I wouldn’t trade the time for the world. I loved Elsie. Yes, already. She grew on me quickly. And her dad wasn’t too bad himself.
I thrust my blade forward, knees bent. He deflected it again with only one hand holding the large sword.
“Damn it.” I’d said I was ready, but frustration already clawed at my chest. “Not even close.”
We trained until my arms felt too heavy to lift, and then met everyone for a lunch that Piercey had prepared himself. Leif passed a plate to his husband and son. Wren poured a glass of ale for herself. Piercey and Nash both took chicken from the platter at the same time. Trish and her husband sat down with Elsie, ready to eat their first meal since arriving at the school.
I let out a chuckle. One big awkward family.
Despite all that had happened, peace flooded me. I almost pushed it away, but denying joy wouldn’t change what was coming. I couldn’t change the future I’d observed any more than I could the past that I’d lived. Everything I’d experienced existed all at once—past, future, and present. So much so that I hadn’t even been able to die.
Strange. I’d avoided thinking about it so much that I never considered that I’d never seen beyond my death, or everything leading up to it. Not that I had expected to see beyond, but I didn’t know what was coming. I’d assumed I was powerless in my death because I couldn’t prevent it. What if I had more power than I thought?
I might not be able to change that I could die. What if I could choose why I would die? Or what if I could fight for my world after I died? I told Flare I’d fight her in the next life. Like so much I said, I’d only uttered in anger. Could I really do that?
Piercey sat down across from me. “Tell me what you think of the potatoes. It’s a new—”
“If there’s a passageway to the white room, then there must be a passageway to the afterlife.”
He blinked and lowered his fork. I thought he’d tease me for interrupting him with something like that, except this was Piercey. His expression went from intrigued to despondent in moments. Fear clouded his eyes.
“What?” I asked.
“Have you thought this through?”
“No. I was realizing it when you sat down so I blurted it out.”
“It’s not a good plan.” He looked around as if to make sure no one was listening. “You’ll want to enter the afterlife like you did the white room and tell everyone there about Dr. Henderson. You’re right that there must be a passageway to the afterlife, but there’s only one way to get there. You have to die.”
“Well, I’m going to die. We know that. It works out.”
Frustration leaked into his voice. “There’s no way we’re going to figure out how to break into the afterlife with our memories intact. It isn’t possible.”
“You’ve thought about it for about a minute. It’s worth researching.”
“No.”
“This is because you don’t want me to die.”
“Yes.” He lowered his voice when he became too animated. “Obviously, I don’t want you to die.”
“Let’s meet in the library.”
