All i need you to be, p.10
All I Need You to Be, page 10
"And you would be more than happy to help me with that."
"Well, it would be foolish of me not to help you." A naughty smile spread across his face, exposing small wrinkles around his eyes.
"And what do you have in mind to achieve that?"
"I recommend you to be honest with me and let me guide you on this journey."
"Okay." This was the second time my words came out in a whisper. "Okay... how do you expect having sex would help me?"
"Why was it so easy for you to believe in what Joe said?"
Oh no, I thought we were postponing the psychoanalysis.
"Because I-I admit I don't have much experience, but in my defense, neither does he."
A shadow I couldn't interpret crossed his eyes before he focused again on the lasagna and responded.
"What I want you to do is try to explore all the things you haven't done before in terms of sex."
"Okay, I can do that, but you should know that the list is longer than Dumbledore's beard. Anyway, enough talking for now."
Actually, I don't want to talk at all.
"Okay, then let's talk more about what you'd like to do and what you wouldn't. I have something for you... it's your birthday present."
Relaxing the atmosphere, he smiled at me before getting up from his stool and heading to one side of the kitchen to take out an elongated rectangular gift box from a cabinet.
"I thought this dinner was my birthday present." I smiled at him as he stood behind me, gently placing the gift box between my body and the plate in front of me with some leftover lasagna.
"No, dinner is just dinner. This is your real gift." I couldn't ignore the sexual intentions that accompanied his words.
It's probably just a pair of socks, and he is making it look like a box full of lust.
His hands landed on my shoulders, massaging them seductively while I took the ends of the ribbon that kept the box closed.
When the bow finally gave way, and the white ribbon fell to the floor, I removed the lid of the box under his watchful eye. I couldn't see his face, but I felt his eyes watching my every move.
A fine black wrapping paper hid my gift. Careful not to tear the paper, I removed the wrapping.
My breath got lost somewhere in my body, but I definitely didn't want to release it.
His hands went down my arms, and his head touched mine, brushing my cheeks with his three-day beard.
"Happy birthday, Anna." His deep voice would be my undoing.
FIFTEEN
My body was surely as pale as a corpse because I literally felt all the blood in my body going to my face.
I can't believe it! Please, somebody get me out of this situation.
In front of me was a vibrator, quite weird, to be honest. Two smaller rubber sections stood out from one side of the long translucent pink phallus, giving it a dolphin-like shape.
Oh God, don't let that go into my anus, please. No matter how strong the chemistry between Rick and me was, everyone has limits.
The top of the vibrator in front of me perfectly resembled the glans of a penis, the only difference being that it was curved. Its translucent material revealed some kind of marbles, which looked like metal balls, a few inches below the top. Finally, at its base, there were some buttons showing arrows in opposite directions.
I didn't know much about vibrators, but I was sure that those controlled the vibrations' speed.
I spent a few minutes in total silence assimilating the gift in front of me. I didn't really know what to say. I mean, not every day you get a vibrator that looks like some kind of mutant penis.
On top of that, the person who gave it to me is the guy I'm sleeping with.
If Eve had given it to me, I would probably have just blushed and joked with her and then put it in my underwear drawer and forgot about it. However, being this Rick's gift, it could only mean two things: either he wanted me to have sex with myself, so I wouldn't bother him anymore with my inexperience, or he wanted me to use it on him. And neither was a good option.
Why didn't he give me soft, comfortable animal print socks? I love those.
Noticing my confusion, Rick gently kissed the back of my head and squeezed my shoulders before returning to his place in front of me and taking away the dishes and glasses.
His face still had that naughty smile he had before looking for my gift. I noticed his cheek making that weird movement you do when you try to hold back a laugh.
For a moment, I had an out-of-body experience and saw myself sitting there with a vibrator in my hands and my eyes wide open. I couldn't blame him if he laughed.
"It's very... cute, thanks... hmm, a lot?"
Was that a thank you or a question?
"You're welcome. I'm glad you like it," he said, gently massaging my neck. "Have you ever used one of these?"
"No." On top of that, I felt my skin blush with shame. This wasn't exactly what I expected for tonight.
"Have you ever masturbated, Anna?" His seductive voice aroused and scared me at the same time. This man could ask me to commit a crime for him, and I'm not sure I could refuse.
"Yes. No, I mean, yes, but never with a... vibrator."
"What have you done it with?"
Was it essential to talk about this? I felt like a child who was caught fooling around and now had to deal with a scolding.
"With my hand," I answered in a whisper.
"This you see here,"—he said, touching the pink part of the vibrator and sliding the fingers of his other hand down my left arm—"it's for your clitoris. It's supposed to vibrate on it. What do you think?"
At this point, my skin was eager to be touched. Though this scene was a bit disturbing, this talk turned me on deep inside.
"I think it would feel... good?"
"How about we try it out?"
What!?
"Right now? You want me to... try it out?" This situation couldn't get any more embarrassing. How are you supposed to react to a man asking you to masturbate?
"Yes, I want you to go to the bedroom and show me how you try it out."
Incredibly, that was even more embarrassing. Masturbating was something personal. Doing it in front of someone would feel much more intimate.
"Only if you want to, of course," added Rick in a deep voice.
I noticed that he was also affected by this scene as much as I was. My panties couldn't get any wetter.
I couldn't even think of saying it out loud, so I just got up with the vibrator still in my hand and led Rick into the room.
He turned on the lights and closed the curtains while I stood there by the bed, not knowing exactly how to start.
Rick read the doubt on my face, so he moved closer to where I was, pushed me towards his chest, and kissed me.
While our tongues fought, his hands began to caress my belly under my shirt, and soon the shirt was gone. My pants also disappeared, and I ended up wearing just my underwear. I had chosen a black set that highlighted my breasts and pushed them together to the center.
Thanks to his dilated pupils, I noticed he liked my choice.
His fingers touched one of my nipples before placing his hand on the hook-and-eye closure to release my boobs that were now begging for his attention.
He kissed me once again, but this time less gently than before. His hands pinched my nipples a few seconds before separating from me and ordering in a lustful voice, "Take off your panties."
I saw him walk into a corner of the room, take the desk chair, and then put it in front of the bed.
Under his watchful eye, I did what he asked, slipped my panties over my legs, and dropped them on the floor. His lustful eyes never abandoned mine.
He didn't do anything else, so I knew it was time for me to take action. Never before had I felt more nervous or aroused.
I lay down on the bed taking again the vibrator I had put on the bed a few moments before.
"Spread your legs. I want to see how you pleasure yourself."
His dominating voice aroused me. Feeling that the blush now covered not only my face but also my breasts, I followed his orders.
Lying in front of him with my legs spread apart, it was impossible for him not to see the arousal he had produced in me.
I pressed one of the vibrator buttons to turn it on, and the phallus started vibrating at a very low speed. I pressed another button until the vibration became more intense, and its sound flooded the room.
His eyes followed my movements as he guided the vibrator to my clitoris.
"Wait." The sound of his deep voice stopped my movements, and I began to wonder if I had done something wrong.
"It will be easier this way," he continued, taking a bottle and a condom from the nightstand.
With his fingers on mine, he quickly put the condom on the vibrator and applied some of what looked like a lubricant on the tip. Before walking away from me, he pushed his erection against my groin and kissed my nipples.
The feeling of his body over mine made me want to put the vibrator aside and beg him to fuck me, but his authoritative gaze drove me to continue with his plans.
I almost lost consciousness when the top of the vibrator touched my already swollen clitoris. The speed of the vibration sent millions of tickles all over my body, making my back arch.
"I can see how wet you are from here. I've never seen anything this beautiful before."
His seductive voice only urged me to want more, so I slowly pushed the vibrator through the entrance of my sex. I tried to bite my lips to stop the moaning trying to get out of me.
"I want to hear you, babe. I love to hear you."
The vibration inside me gradually made me lose control, and I couldn't help but give him what he wanted. My moaning became louder and louder. My hips pushed upwards to bring the protruding part of the vibrator close to my clitoris.
I kept my eyes closed, but still, I felt his gaze on me. Watching me move the vibrator faster and faster in and out of me, seeking my release.
When I finally reached climax, I let out a guttural moan before falling quietly on the sheets.
The vibrator was replaced seconds later by his dick.
His hands pushed my legs against the bed, leaving me open at his mercy. His eyes, dark with lust, traveled from my face to the point of our union.
The feeling of his cock inside me was much better than the vibrator.
The wetness of my orgasm made it easy for him to penetrate me. I felt much more sensitive.
His delicate but precise thrusts didn't take long to make me scream his name and reach orgasm again.
SIXTEEN
The day after our intense session of self-satisfaction and sex, Rick and I had reached a level of trust I had never experienced before. I still felt embarrassed when talking about certain things, but nothing felt taboo anymore after what we did.
While eating pizza and fries, we began to lay out what would become my training, so to speak.
"What positions would you like us to try?"
"I don't know. I haven't really done more than missionary or cowgirl, and I wasn't very good at those either."
"I don't think so."
"Yes, that was... great. But it's just different with you. I mean, I don't know if I want to talk to you about my experience with Joe," I said, biting my lip. The last thing I wanted was to make him uncomfortable.
"Well, it definitely won't become one of my favorite topics, but we should talk about it to find out what you'd like to do."
"Okay, you're right," I replied after mulling it over for a few minutes. I didn't want to give explicit details, but I guess this way we would have some clue of what I wouldn't like to do. "As I told you, it's different with you. Most of the times Joe and I did it, I didn't really get to enjoy it at all. Sometimes it just hurt and—"
"Anna, please tell me he never forced you to do something you didn't want to." His back straightened, and his jaw was tense. I noticed the anger showing up on the features of his face. "I'll kill that fucking bastard."
"No! Of course not!" I leaped up. "It was always consensual. I just never felt quite comfortable with the situation."
"You didn't get turned on."
"Yes, I did. Not as much as when you and I do it, though," I admitted, embarrassed to tell him that he caused an effect on my body that I had never experienced before. "At first, he turned me on, but then I'd remember the pain and discomfort that came with, you know... penetration, and I got turned off. It just wasn't as enjoyable."
"Did you ever tell him?"
"Sometimes I told him it hurt, and he stopped, but I always noticed the frustration on his face, so I just stopped telling him."
"Anna, you must always say it. Someone else's pleasure is never on top of your own pleasure. You shouldn't feel bad if there is something you don't want to do. We all have limits."
I nodded as I pondered his words and took a sip of my beer.
"What about you? What are your limits?"
"Well, I'm sure there are a lot of things I would never try; for example, zoophilia is a resounding no, and urolagnia, Cleveland Steamer, and sadism don't turn me on either, so I would never try them. I mean, I might be okay with spanking if the other person wants it, but hurting someone and involving needles or whips is not something that gets me turned on."
I almost choked on a slice of pizza when he finished answering my question.
I had no idea what at least half of the terms he said meant, but I recognized spanking. I must admit that since BDSM became popular thanks to Fifty Shades of Grey, some things had piqued my curiosity. However, my pain tolerance wasn't very good, so I didn't know how much I would actually enjoy those practices.
"I have no idea what half of the things you said mean, and I'm not sure I want to know," I admitted.
"Well, you should know what zoophilia is; its name makes it pretty obvious. Urolagnia is more commonly known as golden shower. Have you ever watched The Paperboy?"
"No, but I get what you mean, and I also understand why it's not something you would do. I wouldn't be comfortable with that either."
"Well, as for the Cleveland Steamer thing, I don't think it's a good topic of conversation while eating," he said, making a disgusted face, which made me guess what it was about.
"I'll trust your judgment. By the way, should I start worrying about how much you know about all this?"
He laughed so loudly that his Adam's apple moved. His laugh was deep and raspy, and it made you laugh just listening to it.
"No. I just know about it because I had to do a research paper on paraphilias. I learned some interesting things and some not so interesting things. You'd be surprised if you knew how many things some people get turned on by."
"I once saw on TV a man who got turned on by balloons. I never understood how or why."
We kept talking until there wasn't a slice of pizza left in the box, and the six-pack of beer disappeared. After that, I sat in front of the kitchen counter and watched Rick wash the dishes.
No matter how much I insisted on doing it, he refused, just as he had refused to let me pay for the pizza.
The ringing of my cell phone interrupted my thoughts. I walked over to the leather sofa where I had left it after we finished our conversation.
Joe: Can we meet? I'd like to talk to you.
Since the last time he showed up in my room, I hadn't spoken to Joe. I had also avoided going to places where I thought he might be. The last thing I wanted was to run into him and his friends again.
Anna: No. Please don't ever text me again.
Seconds after I sent that message, I regretted writing please instead of just writing go to hell.
"Anna, is everything all right?"
I hadn't realized I kept staring at my cell phone until Rick's voice brought me back to reality.
"Yes, everything's all right. I'll just take a shower. My shift at Benny's starts at five."
I left the room under his watchful eye.
After I took a shower and picked up my things, Rick insisted on driving me back to my dorm as I needed to pick up my clean uniform first.
Joe's message made me think. I didn't want to talk to him, and I didn't miss him either, much less after all that disaster.
After our last conversation, I thought we had both decided to move on and ignore each other as much as possible.
It's not like it wasn't obvious that we had broken up on bad terms.
Why would he want to talk to me now?
SEVENTEEN
Rick
Things with Anna were going well. We met twice a week, and although we had agreed not to go on dates initially, our encounters were getting more and more like dates.
I wouldn't take that step until I was one hundred percent sure we were in sync, no matter how much I wanted it. It had only been 3 months since she broke up with Joe.
After our dates, we went to the apartment and continued our training, as Anna liked to call it.
The sex was getting better and better, and I noticed the confidence growing in her. I had never seen her so smiling before, and I must admit my chest swelled with pride when I thought I had something to do with it.
After telling Marcus about my expulsion from the fraternity, he was fine with me staying in his apartment. This was a huge relief because I wouldn't have to go through the process of looking for a rental on my budget near campus.
Professor Richardson's class was about to end. I needed to talk to him about the presentation for the experimental psychology course.
I had several clear goals for my future, and I needed this research paper to be as perfect as possible. It was practically my ticket to a doctoral degree in personality and behavioral psychology.
Professor Richardson played a key role in the Ph.D. department, and I knew that if I managed to surprise him in the presentation, he would put in a good word for me so that I was admitted to a Ph.D. program.
