Spark, p.23
Spark, page 23
He shakes his head vehemently. “That’s not what I mean at all. My feelings for Ashley kind of exploded inside me. Brought out the bad with the good, if that makes sense.”
“Sure, it makes sense.” Sort of.
“I’ve debated whether to tell you this thing—this thing I buried inside myself for so long. Aunt Mel and Ashley say it’s my decision. Dad says—”
“Wait a minute,” I interrupt him. “Whatever this thing is that concerns me, three other people know about it?”
He swallows. “Yeah. They do. But I only told them recently.”
I’m not sure whether to be angry. My brother is so strong. Way stronger than I am. But whatever this is, it’s bringing him to his knees.
So I won’t give him shit about telling others before me. Aunt Mel is probably acting as his therapist, Ashley’s his wife, and Dad… Well, he and Dad are close the way Mom and I are close.
I get it.
I could make it easy for him. I could tell him that whatever it is, I forgive him. I no doubt will. I can’t imagine anything Dale could do that I wouldn’t forgive. But I can’t. I have to know everything. Going into what we’re about to with any blind spots could be very detrimental.
“This isn’t easy, Don.”
“Few things in life are easy,” I say. “But if this is eating you up inside, just tell me. We’ll work it out.”
He nods then.
And he begins to speak.
As he enunciates each word, I go back in my head. Back to a place I never let myself think about. Never let myself remember.
“It was that last time,” he says. “Right before we were rescued. They took me.” He clears his throat. “And then they took you.”
I nod. Trying not to think about it even as he continues speaking.
Because that last time…
It was horrific. More horrific than all the others combined. But probably not more horrific than what Dale went through. He saved me so many times. Begged them to take him instead of me. Fought for me. Struggled, bit, kicked to keep them from touching me.
“The last time,” he says, “when they tried to take you, but I made them take me instead.”
I nod. Then I gulp. “Dale, I don’t want details. Please.”
“I won’t give them to you. I’ll say only this, Donny.” He swallows, pauses, swallows again. “They broke me. That time. They finally broke me.”
“They broke me long before, Dale. That’s nothing to be ashamed of.”
“I’m not ashamed of it,” he says. “Not of being weak.”
“You shouldn’t be. You were a little boy. We both were.”
“I know that. And I’ve forgiven myself. I just hope you can forgive me.”
“For what? I don’t understand, Dale.”
He clears his throat. “That last time. They broke me. You don’t want details. I won’t give them to you. Suffice it to say, everything they’d done to me previously was like nothing. It was…pure torture, and the only way they would stop was if…”
“It’s okay. Go ahead.”
“Was if I told them to do it to you instead.”
My stomach drops. I remember that last time. It was hell because it was prolonged, but it wasn’t anything they hadn’t done to me before. It was…
No. Can’t go there.
I don’t think about this. There’s a reason I don’t think about this.
“I forsook you, Don, and I’m sorry.”
Forsook. An interesting choice of words. My brother didn’t choose this word by accident.
He felt he had abandoned me. Offered me up to the wolves to save his own hide.
I swallow. Though I expect to feel angry—especially after everything else this evening—I don’t. I feel…
Helpless.
Just as helpless as I felt when we were stolen from our home that day, thrown into that cold concrete room.
But I wasn’t helpless.
I had Dale.
And Dale had…
Dale had no one.
Seconds pass. Then minutes.
“For God’s sake, Don, say something. Anything.”
I open my mouth, hoping I’ll find words. Nothing comes.
“I don’t expect your forgiveness,” he says.
Those words slice straight into my heart. “It was so long ago, Dale. Of course I forgive you. You protected me. Always.”
“Except that time.”
I swallow. “Except that time. But if it helps… God, I hate thinking about this.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
I clear my throat. “If it helps, they didn’t do anything different to me that time. They… God, I can’t say it.”
“I know. I remember Aunt Ruby gave you a bath because you told her you hurt down there. And you tried to—” He closes his eyes, shakes his head harshly “So I know what they did to you, Don.”
“But they had done it before.”
“Are you saying they didn’t…” He clears his throat. “Do it with something…sharp?”
I gasp, my jaw dropping. “No! My God, did they—”
He gestures for me to stop. “Please, don’t even say it. It’s okay. I’m okay. Now. Better, even, knowing you didn’t endure that.”
“All these years, you thought…” I shake my head.
“Yes. But now I know. Now I’ve admitted what I did, and you forgave me.”
“Is it forgiveness you’re after, Dale? Or is it redemption?”
“It’s forgiveness. I have nothing to redeem myself for. I was a child. We both were.”
I nod. “I’m glad you see it that way. We’re okay, Dale. We’re okay, and we always will be.”
“You’ve always been okay. But I am too. My last secret is out. Thank you for your forgiveness.”
“There’s nothing to forgive. We were children. And Dale, you were as strong as any ten-year-old child could have been in those circumstances.”
He nods. “I know that now. Thanks to Ashley, Dad, Aunt Mel. And now you.”
“No,” I say. “Thank no one but yourself. You’re the strongest man I know, Dale.”
My brother smiles. A full smile—one I’ve seen so seldom over the years but that I’ve seen a lot more since Ashley came into his life.
He’s happy.
And he deserves that.
I’m chilled yet numb as I stand in front of my mirror to brush my teeth.
So much to process for one evening.
God, my head. I’d swear Paul Bunyan is inside swinging his ax through my skull and into my brain.
Ibuprofen will ease it. Maybe.
I pull open the mirrored door to the hidden medicine cabinet—
What is that? I pull out a glasses case. I don’t wear glasses. Never have. I do wear sunglasses, but I’ve never left the case inside this cabinet. Besides, I don’t even recognize this brown leather case.
I unsnap it and open it.
Nestled inside the black lining is a key.
A key to what?
The key chain has a number and address etched on it. A bank in Denver.
This is a key to a safe-deposit box.
And I don’t have a safe-deposit box.
Continue reading the Steel Brothers Saga with Book Twenty
Coming December 28, 2021!
Pre-Order Now
* * *
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Message from Helen Hardt
Dear Reader,
Thank you for reading Spark. If you want to find out about my current backlist and future releases, please like my Facebook page and join my mailing list: http://helenhardt.com/signup/. I often do giveaways. If you’re a fan and would like to join my street team to help spread the word about my books, you can do so here. I regularly do awesome giveaways for my street team members.
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Helen
Also By Helen Hardt
The Steel Brothers Saga:
Craving
Obsession
Possession
Melt
Burn
Surrender
Shattered
Twisted
Unraveled
Breathless
Ravenous
Insatiable
Fate
Legacy
Descent
Awakened
Cherished
Freed
Spark
Flame
Blaze
Smolder
Flare
Scorch
* * *
Blood Bond Saga:
Unchained: Volume One
Unhinged: Volume Two
Undaunted: Volume Three
Unmasked: Volume Four
Undefeated: Volume Five
* * *
Misadventures:
Misadventures of a Good Wife (with Meredith Wild)
Misadventures with a Rock Star
* * *
The Temptation Saga:
Tempting Dusty
Teasing Annie
Taking Catie
Taming Angelina
Treasuring Amber
Trusting Sydney
Tantalizing Maria
* * *
The Sex and the Season Series:
Lily and the Duke
Rose in Bloom
Lady Alexandra’s Lover
Sophie’s Voice
* * *
Daughters of the Prairie:
The Outlaw’s Angel
Lessons of the Heart
Song of the Raven
* * *
The Cougar Chronicles:
The Cowboy and the Cougar
Calendar Boy
* * *
Collections:
Destination Desire
Her Two Lovers
* * *
Non-Fiction:
got style?
Acknowledgments
I don’t know about you, but I’m loving the Pike sisters! Callie and Rory are writing themselves. I can’t wait to see what happens with Callie and Donny next. We’re about to delve into the history of the Steel family, and it’s not all going to be pretty, as you can imagine, but Callie and Donny do provide a bit of comic relief. I love it when a couple I create has that kind of chemistry.
Huge thanks to the always brilliant team at Waterhouse Press: Jennifer Becker, Audrey Bobak, Haley Boudreaux, Keli Jo Chen, Yvonne Ellis, Jesse Kench, Robyn Lee, Jon Mac, Amber Maxwell, Dave McInerney, Michele Hamner Moore, Chrissie Saunders, Scott Saunders, Kurt Vachon, and Meredith Wild.
Thanks also to the women and men of Hardt and Soul. Your endless and unwavering support keeps me going.
To my family and friends, thank you for your encouragement. Special shout out to Dean—aka Mr. Hardt—and our amazing sons, Eric and Grant.
Thank you most of all to my readers. Without you, none of this would be possible.
Flame is up next!
About Helen Hardt
#1 New York Times, #1 USA Today, and #1 Wall Street Journal bestselling author Helen Hardt’s passion for the written word began with the books her mother read to her at bedtime. She wrote her first story at age six and hasn’t stopped since. In addition to being an award-winning author of romantic fiction, she’s a mother, an attorney, a black belt in Taekwondo, a grammar geek, an appreciator of fine red wine, and a lover of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream. She writes from her home in Colorado, where she lives with her family. Helen loves to hear from readers.
For more information, please follow Helen Hardt at:
www.HelenHardt.com
HELEN HARDT, Spark
