Chasing redemption, p.1
Chasing Redemption, page 1
Copyright © 2024 by B.A. Chayut
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
Developmental Edit and Proofreading: Tori Ellis, Cruel Ink Editing + Design
Line and Copy Editing: Jaime Watson, Baker Street Revisions
Cover Designer: Cady Verdiramo, Cruel Ink Editing + Design
Contents
Content Warnings
Prologue: Peyton Linwood—Eight Years Old
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Epilogue: Peyton
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Content Warnings
Dear Reader,
Thanks for picking up Chasing Redemption. This is a book of grey characters who make their own rules. There are some sensitive topics within these pages that I wanted to make you aware of.
Violence, Gun Violence, child neglect (off page), light stalking, domestic abuse (not the main characters), illegal activity, death/murder, kidnapping.
To my husband Jared, who without your constant reminder of how many pages Stephen King writes in a day, this book would never have left been written.
Prologue: Peyton Linwood—Eight Years Old
“I hate that woman. If I could get away with it, I’d kill her,” Aunt Jeannie ranted as she paced in the living room, squeezing her hands into fists. Uncle Wolf sat on the couch, sipping his beer. “She’s going to need therapy for years.”
She’d been whisper-yelling for ten minutes, while I perched on the stairs, listening to her go on and on about how angry she was. Neither of them noticed me. I’d gotten good at hiding.
Those last words made my heart hurt. I didn’t want her to get in trouble, not because of Mother or me. Aunt Jeannie was wonderful. She always tried to make me smile.
When Aunt Jeannie turned to pace toward the stairs, she caught sight of me through the banister, and her face went from angry to sad. She stopped moving, closed her eyes, and put her hands on her hips.
Too scared to move, I shoved my hands under my butt to stop them from shaking. The last time Mother caught me listening in, she sent me to my room for two days. Which wouldn’t have been so bad if she hadn’t taken my books too.
Aunt Jeannie walked to me slowly, climbed the steps, and sat next to me. “How much of that did you hear?”
Tears climbed into my eyes, and I clenched my hands as I tried to hold them back. Nothing good ever came from crying.
She slipped a thumb under my eye, wiping away a tear, and linked her fingers with mine. With a soft tug, she stood me up and walked me down the rest of the steps to where Uncle Wolf sat.
Without letting go of my hand, Aunt Jeannie pulled me to sit between her and my uncle. Was she going to yell at me? Would she call Mother?
“I’m sorry you heard that,” Aunt Jeannie said, talking slowly. “But I want you to know that I’m not going to take it back.”
Uncle Wolf barked out a laugh. He was big, bigger than Dad, even though they were brothers. Dad was meticulous about his appearance and always wore a suit. His brother was his opposite, with his long hair, beard, and casual clothes. He drove a loud motorcycle that hurt my ears, but that sound coming down our long driveway at home always meant it would be a fun day. He filled up the room in the best way, making it impossible for anything bad to happen.
I knew Uncle Wolf wasn’t his real name, it was too silly, but no one ever said what his real name was. “Are you okay?” he asked, his big warm hand rubbing the back of my neck. I nodded. Was there a reason I shouldn’t be okay?
“Do you understand what’s happening?” Aunt Jeannie turned to face me. “I know there was a lot going on when we picked you up earlier today.” She stopped moving, which was weird. My aunt was always a big ball of energy. She cooked, sang badly—it was fun though—and bounced around and called it dancing.
“Yeah. We’re having a big sleepover,” I said, all memories of being scared moments ago washed away by my excitement. This was my first sleepover, and even though it was just my aunt and uncle, I knew it would be so much fun. I hoped Hunter would join us too.
She looked at my uncle, and they said something with their eyes that way adults do sometimes.
“Peyton, what if we invited you to live with us? Would you like to stay with us?” Aunt Jeannie asked.
Live with them? Like forever? I blinked fast, making sure this was real. I’d dreamed about coming to stay with them, of them being my actual parents, for a long time. They hugged me, talked to me, and never called me weird or too smart for my own good.
I swallowed hard. “Won’t Mother be upset if I don’t come back?” Mother either acted like I didn’t exist or somehow made every wrong thing my fault, even if I wasn’t there. Either way, it was easier if I hid.
Aunt Jeannie made an ugly face. “Mother.” She stuck her tongue out and pretended to gag. “The woman has no heart.”
“Focus, babe,” Uncle Wolf said, but he wasn’t mad. He was smiling, and it made me want to smile too.
“Right, sorry. We’ve worked it out with your parents. And if you want, we’d really love it if you stayed with us. I’d love to have another girl in the house.” My heart beat so loud that I could barely hear her.
“You want me to stay with you?” I asked. This wasn’t real … it couldn’t be. No kid I ever met had their dreams come true. Any second, I was going to wake up.
“We want nothing more than for you to stay with us. We’ve already looked at that special school for you and have a tour scheduled for tomorrow,” Uncle Wolf said. For a big scary biker—that was the nice version of what Mother called him—he was the best.
“I thought I wasn’t going because …” Do I tell them about what happened when the teacher called Mother and told her I needed to go to a different school because they didn’t have the resources to keep me there anymore? Mother was so angry. She yelled at me and told me I’d have to deal with it, that I wasn’t getting anything special.
“If that’s where you want to go, that’s where you’ll go.” Uncle Wolf squeezed my hand. “Tomorrow, after we take a look, we’ll decide together, and if it doesn’t feel right, we’ll figure something else out.” I remembered the brochure, all the kids smiling. A school for gifted children, kids like me. Nobody would make fun of me because I was eight and they were eleven and twelve and we were in the same classes.
My bottom lip trembled. This wasn’t a dream. “So, I’m staying here with you? Forever? I never have to go back?”
“I know this place isn’t as big, but we’d love it if you called it home,” Aunt Jeannie said, her eyes watery.
All the tears that I’d been holding in for as long as I could remember—tears I was too afraid to let fall—came out, streaming down my face uncontrollably. The fear I’d lived with for so long, fear of being noticed in a house full of people who yelled at me for existing, poured out of me.
Uncle Wolf picked me up, wrapped me in his big arms, and held me tightly while I cried on his shoulder. It only served to make me cry harder.
And although I was little, I knew that it wasn’t normal for parents to not hug their child.
“No, sweetheart,” Uncle Wolf whispered in my ear as he rubbed circles on my back. “You can stay here with us for as long as you want.”
Uncle Wolf parked the car in front of a big warehouse with the words REDEMPTION MC hung in an arch over the front of the building. There were balloons tied to the picnic tables, people everywhere, and loud music blasting from speakers. The yard was large and open, with dense woods beyond.
Aunt Jeannie crouched in front of me. “It’s a lot, I know. But Redemption is a big family, and they want to celebrate you being a part of that.”
“They’re all here for me?” I knew people had parties, that happy occasions were usually celebrated, but I’d never had that. Mother hated my birthday. She said it was a reminder of how I ruined her body with marks on her tummy. The balloons said welcome, and I knew they were there for me. Right then and there, I promised myself that I’d always be good. I’d never give them a reason to be upset with me so that I could continue to live with them and live this life. I’d be perfect if that’s what it took.
Aunt Jeannie helped me out of the car, holding my hand as she guided me through the crowd with Uncle Wolf on the other side of me. They waved, called out to people, but no one approached us, which I was thankful for.
My mind spinning, I tried to keep up with everything going on around me. This was nothing like the parties Mother had. All those required poofy dresses and sitting quietly in a corner. Invisible was safer.
This party was like a competition for who could talk the loudest, laugh the loudest, or do something crazy. Like backflips off a picnic table.
A smiling man with long hair, a scruffy beard, and a faded black shirt approached us. He was probably about the same age as Uncle Wolf. The pretty woman next to him had her eyes on me and a kind smile on her face. She was tall, maybe the tallest woman I’d ever seen.
The man clapped my uncle on the shoulder, while the woman crouched down to my height. “Hi, I’m Scarlette. You must be Peyton.” Her voice was soft, but I could still hear it over all the noise. I gave her a small nod. “This big guy is Connor, but you can call him High. And do you see those boys out there?” She pointed to the group of teenagers that Hunter was hanging out with. “The four tallest ones are ours. Colt, Van, Nash, and Ares.”
The boys were throwing a football, then piling onto the one who caught it and laughing. I focused on the tallest one. He didn’t laugh, but I could tell he was having fun from the way he tossed everyone else around. I wanted to join the fun, to play and run, but I couldn’t. Just the thought of going over and asking to play made me freeze with nerves. Instead, I gripped Aunt Jeannie’s hand tighter.
“They’re rowdy, but they’ll make sure you don’t get hurt. Go on over whenever you want.” With that, Scarlette stood up and started talking to my aunt.
The two of them chatted for a while, and every so often my aunt gave my hand a reassuring squeeze. Eventually, Aunt Jeannie sat me at a picnic table, setting a plate piled high with food in front of me. More people approached, introducing themselves and telling me about their positions in the club. I learned High was the vice president and that Uncle Wolf was president. The rest of the titles all ran together—road captain, enforcer, and those were the only ones I remembered.
The names confused me, but every person at the party made a point to come over and speak to me. From what Mother had told me, these people were wild, mean, and reckless. From my corner of the party, I couldn’t understand why she’d said that. Everyone was smiling and having a good time together, and the music was fun. One man even burped loudly, and nobody told him it was gross.
I wanted to explore, but I wasn’t ready to meet anyone else. I was tired, the music was loud, the sound of motorcycles coming and going hurt my ears, and the day was getting hotter.
Quietly, I left the picnic table and headed into the woods. I wouldn’t go far. I only needed a little quiet time away from all the fun chaos.
I walked until the noise from the party faded away completely. Tall trees blocked out the sun, and the quiet peace of the woods calmed me. My brain no longer fired a million miles a minute trying to keep up with everyone. I’d spoken to more people today than I had in the past year.
I sat down against a tree and enjoyed the time I wanted to myself. No one would notice I was gone. They never did.
Unsure how much time had passed, I got up and realized it was darker, almost night. I thought I walked back in the direction I’d come, but after a minute or two, I knew I should have heard music and the noise of people talking, but there was nothing. Only silence.
Don’t panic.
I whirled around, trying to place where I was. All the trees were the same. I couldn’t remember because I hadn’t been paying any attention to my surroundings while I walked. Going over to a tree with a thick trunk, I sat down and willed away the tears that threatened to fall.
Someone would find me. Aunt Jeannie and Uncle Wolf weren’t the same as Mother. If I’d gone missing, she would have been the last to know, and she would’ve been more upset if I was found than by my absence.
My aunt and uncle cared. They hugged me, talked to me at dinner, took me to see a lady to talk about myself and my feelings.
Someone would find me. Because I was family.
My hands formed into fists, my nails digging into my palms as I tried to keep myself from panicking. What if they hadn’t noticed I was gone? What if they left me?
“There you are,” said a voice I didn’t recognize. Although it was dark, I could make out who it was. Colt, Scarlette’s son.
He crouched down and reached out his hand. “Come on, we’ve been searching for you. Prez and Jeannie are freakin’ out.” I instantly liked his deep voice.
Swallowing hard, I gave him my shaking hand and let him pull me up to my feet. Colt led me in the opposite direction that I’d headed before, never letting go of my hand. His was big and warm, and it sent a little shiver down my arm.
After a few minutes, the noise of the party filtered through the trees. When Colt and I entered the clearing, he let out an ear-piercing whistle that had everyone’s attention snapping in our direction.
Aunt Jeannie pushed someone out of her way and ran to me, worry written all over her face.
Colt stared down at me, his lips ticked up at the sides. He gave my hand a squeeze, and something slammed into me.
Something I didn’t know I’d never had until this moment.
Safety. The knowledge that someone would come find me if I went missing. People cared enough to worry about me.
Aunt Jeannie scooped me up, forcing me to let go of Colt’s hand, and I couldn’t help but peek at him over her shoulder.
I want to keep him.
Chapter One
PEYTON
An omission was still a lie, right?
Guilt ate away at me. I’d never lied to my aunt and uncle before. When I told them I had an interview, they were so excited. I neglected to tell them that it wasn’t really a choice.
Since the day they’d brought me home, they had loved me. Showered with me affection and attention, because that was who they were. They treated me like I was their daughter, not a wayward niece who needed a safe place to live. If I told them I was in trouble, they’d burn the world down trying to protect me. I couldn’t let them do that.
I’d screwed up and needed to handle the consequences of my actions. Not hide behind my loved ones, letting them fix what I’d done.
I picked my way through the airport, stopping for coffee and to check the outgoing flights. Dreamed that I was going somewhere exotic rather than the exit.
Running wasn’t an option. Pretty sure the government would track me down and drag me back by my hair.
Six weeks ago, I got the call that ordered me to Washington, DC. As soon as I hung up the phone, I had a plane ticket and a picture of a man labeled driver waiting in my inbox. No name.
The clock had been ticking slowly and painfully since. Fear was a constant companion, keeping me up at night. I’d been so paranoid that I barely opened my laptop once the countdown reached single digits.
The farther I walked, the bigger the cloud of impending doom grew over my head. All the questions I’d had these past few weeks about what I would face were soon to be answered.
After stopping and grabbing a snack and a decent latte, I went to baggage claim. Except I never made it. The man from the picture stood near the escalator, and both of my bags lay at his feet.
The man was far more unnerving in person than he was in his picture. His bald head, serious face, and ill-fitting suit set off sirens in my head. This guy was the poster child for stranger danger. If I hadn’t been expecting him, I would have run screaming in the other direction.
I barely made it to him before he gave me a stiff nod, grabbed my duffle bags, and strode out of the airport without glancing back to check if I was following. I jogged to catch up as he stopped at an SUV with tinted windows. He threw my bags in the back, then climbed into the car. I jumped into the passenger seat, almost afraid he would leave without me. The scathing look he shot my way made me wonder if I’d done something wrong.
