Obsession within, p.1
Obsession Within, page 1
A. Briar
Obsession Within
First published by Independently Published 2022
Copyright © 2022 by A. Briar
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise without written permission from the publisher. It is illegal to copy this book, post it to a website, or distribute it by any other means without permission.
This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author's imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.
A. Briar asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.
First edition
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To every Parker out there…
“In an attempt to fix him, she broke herself.”
—Daniel Saint Black
Contents
Acknowledgement
Trigger Warning
Playlist
1. Parker
2. Hudson
3. The Internship
4. Heathcliff
5. I’m Sorry
6. My First Time
7. The Body
8. Eric
9. Lily
10. What Took You So Long?
11. His Need For Control
12. I Hope You Get Help
13. Who Are You?
14. Athens
15. Losing It
16. I Want To Ask You Something
17. St. Patrick’s Day
18. The Blood
19. Nightmare
20. I Just Don’t Care Anymore
21. I Don’t Matter To Him
22. Old Times Sake
23. Is He Hot?
24. I Still Want Him
25. Memory
26. Pictures
27. Angels And Devils Rager
28. Do I Really Want To Know?
29. SURPRISE!
30. I Need To Speak To You
31. Why Do You Lie So Much?
32. But First, Can I Fuck You?
33. Don’t Make Promises You Can’t Keep
34. Sex Demon
35. Fuck With My Head
36. Dr. Vera Callahan
37. I think Two Can Play At This Game
38. High On Him
39. He Can’t Really Love You
40. I Missed You
41. I Hate You
42. Get The Fuck Out
43. Graduation Party
44. Wax Play
45. How Can I Change
46. I Was Him And He Was Me
47. The Townhouse
48. He’s Not Coming Back
Epilogue
About the Author
Acknowledgement
Writing and finally getting to publish your work out into the big world is scary. I wouldn’t have done it if it wasn’t for the constant support from my friends and family as well as the amazing Booktok and Bookstagram community I’ve found. I’d love to thank my sisters, Juwi, Nafi, and Jo. You guys deserve an award for me babbling about books all day.
A special thank you to Harleigh Beck, Jordan Giles, Lily June, Kylie Gopal, Camille Haynes, and V. Domino for being there for me. You guys are amazing and I’m glad to have you as friends.
Trigger Warning
Obsession Within is darker than the first book. While I was still careful about book one, I let my characters run free in this book.
This book contains explicit content including, but not limited to:
• Murder graphically described
• Stalking
• Severe child abuse
• Drug/Alcohol abuse
• Dub/Con
• Multiple mentions of ASPD
• Violence
• Graphic sex scenes
• Breath play/ orgasm denial
• Suicide of a pregnant woman
• Depression
• Anxiety Attacks
• Manipulation
• Cheating
This should cover pretty much most of it. Remember my Morally Grey hero suffers from a personality disorder called ASPD and he would rank on the levels of Sociopathy. I ask you to be warned before reading as his character could cause trauma for victims. This book was purely written for my enjoyment. Happy reading!
Playlist
sʟᴇᴅɢᴇʜᴀᴍᴍᴇʀ ʙʏ ᴍɪɪᴀ
ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʙᴇʟᴏɴɢ ʙʏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴇᴇᴋɴᴅ
ʙᴀᴅ ᴅʀᴇᴀᴍ ʙʏ ʀᴜᴇʟʟᴇ
sᴇᴄʀᴇᴛs ᴀɴᴅ ʟɪᴇs ʙʏ ʀᴜᴇʟʟᴇ
ᴛᴇɴsɪᴏɴ ʙʏ ᴠᴏᴋ
ᴜᴍʙʀᴇʟʟᴀ (ᴇᴘɪᴄ ᴛʀᴀɪʟᴇʀ) ʙʏ J2
ᴄʀᴀᴢʏ ɪɴ ʟᴏᴠᴇ (ᴇᴘɪᴄ ᴛʀᴀɪʟᴇʀ) ʙʏ ᴡᴜʟғ, J2
ʜɪᴛ ᴍᴇ ʙᴀʙʏ ᴏɴᴇ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ (ᴇᴘɪᴄ ᴛʀᴀɪʟᴇʀ) ʙʏ J2, ʙʟᴜ ʜᴏʟɪᴅᴀʏ
ᴘᴀɴᴅᴏʀᴀ ʙʏ 2ᴡᴇɪ, ᴇᴅᴅᴀ ʜᴀʏᴇs
Tᴏxɪᴄ ʙʏ 2ᴡᴇɪ
ᴋᴇᴇᴘ ᴍᴇ ʜɪɢʜ ʙʏ ᴀᴅᴀʟɪɴᴇ
ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴇʀғᴇᴄᴛ ɢɪʀʟ ʙʏ ᴍᴀʀᴇᴜx, sᴏғᴛ ᴋɪʟʟ
ᴍᴏᴏɴʀɪsᴇ ʙʏ WILDWOOD
ᴘᴀɪɴᴛ ɪᴛ ʙʟᴀᴄᴋ ʙʏ ᴄɪᴀʀᴀ
ᴡʜɪsᴘᴇʀs ʙʏ ʀᴏᴋ ɴᴀʀᴅɪɴ
ʟᴏsᴛ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ғɪʀᴇ ʙʏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴇᴇᴋɴᴅ
1
Parker
PARKER
My alarm is blaring from my phone. It’s only a few minutes past five a.m., but I’ve been up for hours.
It’s been a week since everything happened. Taking a deep breath, I try to encourage myself that I can face the day ahead. That I can find some corner of happiness to crawl into.
Breaking up sucks. But the way Hudson—I don’t even want to think of his name. Not yet. Every time an image of him pops into my head, I see red. But it’s not only anger, it’s everything in between that I never thought I could feel. It’s like every minute of waking, there’s a sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach. I miss him and I shouldn’t.
The way we broke up feels worse somehow. It feels worse than it felt with Ryan. Maybe it’s because Ryan was just an asshole and Hudson was a psycho. The very same psycho that knew every inch of me and everything about me. Besides, Ryan and I never had sex. I had sex with Hudson. So it wasn’t just my emotions involved. It was abrupt. As if someone had pulled the rug from underneath my feet and said, “You’ve been played Parker!”—as I fell back, knocking the air out of my lungs, not realizing the momentum at which I fell. We moved way too fast and I should have expected to be this hurt at the rate we going. How could I help it though? He was everywhere, involved in everything I did for these past few weeks. It was like going on an incredible roller coaster ride, experiencing the highs and lows, only to feel upset once it came to a stop.
Something inside me feels different; miserable and distant. Like I’m never going to be the same person again. I’m not being dramatic, because I don’t have a dramatic bone in my body. I truly don’t want to get out of bed and do anything. I want to do the unhealthy thing and cry myself to sleep while thinking of him because let’s face it, I can’t forget about him. No matter how hard I try.
My mind is not yet ready to analyze anything, so all I’ve been doing is burying myself into the last few pages of The Picture Of Dorian Gray, before starting Wuthering Heights.
I hadn’t realized it, but I’d been slacking with my work and it wasn’t until my English Professor, Mr. Tillman mentioned that my grades are falling and that I need to focus on my reading list before the end of the Spring semester.
I have a lot of things to do today. There’s the internship interview at Gulliver Books that I need to go to and then I have my creative writing classes in the afternoon, before helping Lex with her lines from a play later on.
But first, I need to head over to the Vibe & Bliss yoga studio. I seriously need to get back into my routine if I want to feel normal again.
“Good morning.” Lex pops her dark redhead through the ajar door.
Every month, Lex changes her hair color. And she’s been obsessing over elves recently, so her hair is cut a little roughly, kinda pixie-like, making her look cute and hot at the same time. I wish I could be as spontaneous as her, but my parents would probably disown me even though I’m old enough.
“Morning,” I tell her as I push the covers off me, before taking another deep breath.
“How many of those deep breaths have you taken?” she asks, folding her arms over her chest as she leans against the door frame.
“I lost count.”
“Well, listen up, bitch. I want you to do whatever you have to and then bring back the old Parker, ‘Kay? Otherwise, I’m going to have to go on a rampage searching for an egotistical ass with saggy balls to murder.” Her eyes are narrow. She means business and her threat is not to be taken lightly.
I can’t help but chuckle. “I’m fine, Lex. But I won’t stop you from going on that rampage.”
After I came back from my parent’s holiday home in Mastic Beach, I’d come back to Manhattan to find Lex waiting in our apartment from her awesome Spring Break weekend with her new beau, Kyle.
I didn’t tell her what happened back in Hampton Bays, but she kn
And now she’s put on her best friend protective shield over, watching that I don’t sink into depression or start eating an excessive amount of calories—not that I will. She’s awesome like that.
“I am ordering Chinese tonight. You can bring the wine. Sounds good?”
“Sounds good to me,” I tell her as I quickly make my bed and run my hands over the powder blue covers a few times to remove any of the creases.
“Love you,” she says, lingering in the doorway.
I know she’s keeping a close eye on me and even though all I really want right now is space, I don’t tell Lex anything because I know she’s coming from a good place. I’d do the same if she was in my place.
“Love you too.”
When she leaves the apartment, I feel like getting back into bed, because I don’t have any enthusiasm to do anything else, but I force myself to have a quick wash, before I pull on my favorite pair of stretchy black tights and a matching crop top.
I sling my satchel over my shoulders and then leave the apartment building.
It’s a warm, Spring day and it’s busier than usual, people rushing to work, yellow cabs being hailed down. Babies are crying, businessmen and women yell into their AirPods and police cars along with ambulances are rushing to some unfortunate soul out there. I love the city so much and I wouldn’t exchange it for anything.
The early morning sun is smiling down on me as I move down the concrete sidewalk. I keep on expecting to see him show up and when I don’t see any sign of his tall frame and dark, lethal green eyes, my heart starts to ache again. Like something is missing. I desperately wish to stop this gnawing shitty feeling inside the pit of my stomach, but I can’t and I don’t know why.
“You’re in love,” a woman’s voice says through my one earphone and I realize it’s just a healthy lifestyle podcast I was listening to last night on Spotify. In love with a crazy person, I added.
I inhale deeply and head down the few blocks to Vibe & Bliss. Hopefully, I’ll be too occupied by the end of the day to even think about him.
Neela Raj our yoga instructor is probably set on killing me along with the other victims today by stretching our bodies until we can’t stretch anymore.
I’m expecting hardcore. I need something to destroy my core. But today Neela gives us a break and decides to do calming poses to help with everyday stress, which is exactly what I don’t need. Or at least I think so.
So we start with the child’s pose, stretching our arms out ahead of us, whilst keeping our legs tucked under our butts.
Neela then shows us the extended puppy pose, the standing tree pose, and the triangle pose before she ends the session with a hero pose, where we have to be on our knees with our feet flat against the floor and our arms on our thighs.
We stay in this position for five minutes straight until Neela finally dismisses the class.
I don’t realize how relaxed I feel until I head to the locker room and have a hot shower, exfoliating my skin with a sticky honey scrub. The hot water rushes over my body and I breathe in the steam rising from the showers around me.
When I’m done, I lather my body with my strawberry-scented lotion and then change into a pair of skinny black suit pants and a silky white blouse.
I stare at myself in the mirror as I do an elegant chignon with a few strands of my dark blonde hair loose at the front. My eyes drift further down and then I see it. A reminder that the medallion he gave me is still around my neck. I haven’t taken it off yet and I don’t know if I will. My fingers trace the delicate gold medallion sitting around my collarbone.
Without pondering much on it, I quickly apply a matte nude shade of lipstick and do my cat eyeliner, before I leave Vibe & Bliss, feeling like a million bucks. As you should, babe, Lex would have added if she was here.
Anyway, I have more important things to do today. Like, keep my nerves down about my internship interview.
So before I can grab a cab to go to Gulliver Books, I stop at the nearest Starbucks to get my caffeine fix of hazelnut frap with almond milk before facing the day ahead. It can only get better from here on.
2
Hudson
HUDSON
She has long olive legs, exposing enough to get my imagination flowing as I watch her flaunt her ass in that tight pencil skirt.
She’s blonde and smells really good. She’s the kind of woman that takes really good care of herself. Once in a while, she’ll probably buy herself an expensive bottle of Dior and pamper herself at a five-Star spa. That’s the kind of woman she is.
I sit across from her in a chair and analyze her. She looks older, maybe mid-thirties, but she knows she looks good otherwise she wouldn’t be wearing such a tight, white shirt, running her tongue over her red-coated lips. My type, except, I’m not interested in her one bit. Other than fucking her of course.
I learned very early on that adults are very sexually oriented creatures. They crave intimacy. Even Vivienne sitting in front of me. My new psychologist as per my mother’s fucking wishes after she and my brother, Matt, had a court order forcing me into therapy. They think they can force me to do shit like this because we have that kind of money.
It doesn’t count anyway. I know it won’t last, but for the entertainment factor, I am truly enthusiastic. I wonder how long it would take me to have her writhing in pleasure on that desk of hers.
Sex. I use it all the time to get what I crave: Power. There’s nothing more satisfying than knowing you control someone’s emotions and body. Once I have control, I give and take what I want from a relationship. My mother and Matt think they know all about me and how fucked I am in the head, but they don’t know just how much.
I can do this all day every day until I get bored. But then I remind myself that Parker is the one that got away. I never affect her enough for her to walk away from me like that. I need her back. She’s the challenge I’ve been looking for. It drives me insane knowing that I can’t just have her. I like the chase, it’s what pushes me to get more power and more control.
It’s like a game of chess, you always have to have your moves and strategies prepared. Life is a monopoly board; you either gain or lose and I never lose. Not in my world at least. I hit forward all the time and come out on top. Always.
Deep down, I know there is something that I feel for Parker. It isn’t affection or love. Love is something I know I will never be capable of. I’m way beyond that stage. Perhaps it’s the admiration of her strong will, the safety she offers, and her beauty. Perhaps it’s an obsession. I’ve tasted the effects of obsession before and I know what it can do to me when I don’t have what I want. It makes me sick to know that she left. She’s mine. She belongs to me.
But it will never be love. It surprises me when people throw the word around and actually mean it. I have only ever had to use the word in times of desperation. To me, love is the language of sex and nothing more. It’s of giving and receiving.
But I don’t want to think of that right now. What I’m more interested in is getting Vivienne naked. I always try to test myself, to see how good I really am. Whether it’s getting a normal girl at a rager naked or even my psychologist.
She’s been asking me unnecessary questions for the past hour with that pretty mouth of hers that I could put to better use. I know that my session is over and she knows too, but she can’t seem to end it. She doesn’t want it to end.
I watch as she subtly lifts her head. She has a slender neck and big tits waiting to be freed from that tight shirt of hers.
Vivienne looks at me with those baby blue eyes and I know I have her. Her mouth parts subtly. This is my opportunity.
